The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, address nearness, well-being, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most click here now likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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