The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce go to this website feelings), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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