The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay males wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If more info here not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar