The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

However when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the anonymous hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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